Saturday, 29 December 2007

Starting over

I thought I was through with this. I thought I had put all the IF crap behind me. I was ready to wean myself off the IF message board and stop adding new IF and loss blogs to my Bloglines. I have my my two gorgeous children (The Girl (4) and The Boy (1)). I have some old drugs sitting in my fridge and my medicine chest waiting for a friend to cycle. My old clinic is just that my old clinic. Then my blasted body does something that, in over 20 years with The Man and no contraception for at least 10 years, it has never done before - got pregnant without a doctor or drug in sight. My life plan (oh and so much of that has worked out before) never had 3 children in it. The Man was positively against the idea. But that digital pee stick and the waves of nausea said otherwise. We were thrilled. Then it was all snatched away at 8 weeks in a missed miscarriage. The lovely people at the greatest scanning unit on earth tried to be positive hoping I had my dates wrong by 2 weeks but I knew it was the end. So here I am back again to the thoughts of maybe the next cycle with my 40 year old eggs will also end in a natural conception. Fat chance.

Anyway after reading blogs for a pretty long time and commenting on them for a shorter time I now start my own. At the moment I am here to vent mainly and if anyone out there is listening I am grateful but I can be bitter and twisted at the best of times and right now times are not that great so be warned.

1 comment:

Candid Engineer said...

Here through NaComLeavMo. Welcome to the blogosphere. :o) I think that you will find comfort and appreciation in your ability to share and get feedback from others. It helps to feel like someone is listening. Cheers!