Oh well

Here we go again - yet another missed miscarriage. Not that unsurprising given the slow progress at the last one but still a big blow.


I have now hit that 3 m/c jackpot for referral to the recurrent miscarriage unit - oh joy. I know I said we were done but I am going to take the referral anyway as I want to know as much as I can as to why this keeps happening. I know that at the most likely reason is the elderly eggs but still given I already have an auto-immune disease (lupus) its possible that there could be something testable going on.


So yesterday morning was spent at super calming full of ancient Greek pots private scan place - 2 scans to confirm the blindingly obvious to everyone from the first 30 seconds - little growth and no heartbeat is a pretty big clue. Followed by super expensive delicious banana, cardamon and chocolate muffin and a flat white in glamour cafe to ease the pain. Walk in the sun through central London to the EPU at massive teaching hospital to be scanned again and then given the "options". I can't face expectant management so the ERPC under local will be on Tuesday next week. Now I just have to try and organise the genetic testing which for obscure reasons isn't standard and getting my APS status checked before the procedure. I usually test negative for APS but occasionally positive and I just want to rule it out for this one.

I do find it so very very frustrating that for most of my thirties my body refused to get it together so that A could meet B and create C when the eggs were in order without huge amounts of money and drugs and then works it out for my 40s when only dodgy eggs are left. Oh and that my body is still behaving to all intents and purposes as if I was still pregnant.

Anyway there we are. Thank you all so much for your support. I am going to use the weekend to work out how to put photos on and regale you with traditional British seaside bucket and spade shots. At least the holiday - which was lovely - was not ruined by this hideous process.